and my home is too small for all of You

i now know:

you went out with a girl the day you left me

you text her all day

you tell her you dream of doing her

in the bed you still ask me to sleep in

you fucking animal.

you want to be friends

but only if i can heal myself

by the time you move out

friends on a time limit

feelings on the clock

i am at least an hour slow.

i now know you are

a rocket ship covered in rust

a thousand pounds of baggage

but still zooming past me

moving on

getting up

giving up

i am nothing to you and maybe i prefer it that way.

my body is too small for my feelings

i will always remember:

we made love the morning of the day you left me

waking in soft tumble

kissing ourselves into daylight

needing each other.

i never memorized your phone number until

i deleted it

and now the digits stare back at me

and burn into my eyes in place of your name

and i could call you from

anywhere,

now.

the first time i tried to sleep in that bed without you,

i ended up crying myself to sleep

back on the couch;

unable to smell you and look around

at all your things

collected in the space we used to share

a life you pushed me out of,

how can i dream in such a place?

my room is just storage space now,

not a piece of furniture in sight

every single thing i own

in a pile

on the floor

i own but one box and it isn't big enough;

i have but one heart and from it everything spills.